I’m sitting in a dental chair, in a beautiful, modern but icy surgery room, watching two dental surgeon assistants prepare the surgical Instruments while excitingly chatting in Portuguese.
I look at the instruments, and imagine for a brief moment how those are going to be used during the next 2 hours — somehow frightening.
The surgeon is getting up from his chair, turning on a somewhat cool music and starts to hum and even sing along — the atmosphere in the room immediately changes.
All my attention is following the preparation until the chair declines and my eyes are being covered with one of those medical masks that we got to know quite well during the covid pandemic. I'm being told that this would protect me from the very bright overhead light, but I'm sure the real reason being for me not to watch whats going to happen — somehow a relief, time to close my eyes.
This is the moment that I was preparing myself for the last few weeks. It’s scary to imagine that two holes are being drilled into my lower jaw (mandible) just minutes from now.
Not being able to see anything around me, increases my attention to listening what's going on, an at this moment, the surgeon tells me that he is now starting with the anaesthesia injections and that I should only feel some vibrations but no pain at all — I confirm with a brief "ok" and really hope that he tells me the truth.
One of the assistants starts to cover my lips with something that feels like Vaseline, while I'm waiting for the anaesthesia to start taking effect.
I have zero feelings in terms of pain, but guess along what's being done during this surgery and the first thing feels like cutting the gum covering the bone and scrubbing it aside to get to the bone. Next the vibration with some proper pressure applied, just as described by the surgeon minutes earlier — the drilling begins.
For the next hour or so, this is all I feel, vibrations from drilling, probably trying to fit the implant, continued by some more drilling, repeat — no pain, I'm so relieved.
At this moment, I'm thinking back to the time before the surgery, about 10 years of hesitation, resistance and fear. However, just a few month prior to today’s surgery I started to fix everything that needed to be fixed; replacement of amalgam fillings, various broken fillings and other preventative measures. That was the time where I got really present about the impact of not doing the implants. My jaw bone lost its density and volume because it was no longer being stimulated by the presence of a tooth root or implant. The fact that this process would continue and lead to even more issues down the line, frightened me even more than the thought about the procedure of getting implants, motivating me like nothing else to get this fixed as soon as possible. Once I made that decision, I started to believe that it will be much easier and less painful than I have been imagining it — and I was absolutely right. I couldn't have imagined that a surgical procedure with drilling into my lower jaw let alone cutting open my gum would be entirely pain free.
Now my focus suddenly shifts to the question “what about the time after the surgery?”. It starts to make sense that the actual surgery is done under local anaesthesia and therefore I shouldn't feel anything — but what's afterwards, once the anaesthesia loses it's effect?
My imagination runs wild, but just like before the surgery, I start to tell myself that it will be all right and if there will be pain, I will get through it, it will pass.
The surgery is done, the eye cover is being removed and the surgeon tells me with a huge smile on his face, that the surgery went very well, without any complications — what a relief.
It's now two days since the surgery, and I experience literally zero pain and not even any discomfort — I'm absolutely thrilled how the surgery went and how I feel afterwards.
While the default is always to expect the worst, there was no prior experience or any realistic comparison for me, so I imagined the best possible outcome — no pain!